; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
