I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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