What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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