I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
