Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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