so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
