Someone shit on the floor
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
