You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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