If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
