420 ftw
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
