We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
