omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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