You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
