Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize