apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
