i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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