so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So vagazzling was a success
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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