I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
