Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
