But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
