WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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