I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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