is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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