I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
