We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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