Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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