so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
