So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
