Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
