am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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