She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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