but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just google imaged poop.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
