we're chasing vodka with high fives
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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