I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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