would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
