is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
