Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize