His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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