You surviving the open bar?
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I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think a kid would responsible me up
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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