Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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