Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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