Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
