i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
