i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
