Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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