dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
