Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
