I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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