he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Two words: blizzard sex
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have post one night stand depression
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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