Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize