Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
