That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize