Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
