So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize