You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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