So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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