I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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