she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize