She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
