so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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