My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
