Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i believe in u and ur pee
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
