you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
