the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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