just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
